A few words of wisdom based on the life experiences that I have been able to garner from my moderate span of years on this planet.

Note: This is principally directed at Craig. I am going to make this into a continuing list that I can update weekly. Whenever Craig needs a little advice he can read this post. I hope others will add to the list as well, because certainly the poor fetcher needs all the help he can get.

1. Craig, don't get too down on yourself about your low Organic Chemistry test score. You are motivated. Goal-oriented. You get things done. You will do better next time.

Through hard work and determination I know you'll find the best way to cheat.

2. As for your relational problems, a little arguing isn't always a bad thing. Just make sure you don't squabble too much, but just enough that you can make up with a tickle fight.

3. I know you have been getting a lot of flack for your bad facebook.com profile picture, but really, it makes you look like a disgruntled movie producer living on the outskirts of L.A. Lose it.

Stevo is tying the knot... *cough* noose *cough*

"Dear" people who read this blog: I have an announcement. I don't think anyone saw it coming - least of all me.

Stephen Anderson is engaged. Yes. Engaged. The fiancee is Melissa DeWeese. My condolences to her and her family.

I don't know how he did it. He has made some sort of unholy pact with the god of love. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here in a pool of sacrificed, virgin rabbit blood with no results, and you have no idea how hard it is to find celibate bunnies.

This whole situation reminds me of a story. I know this guy from school who planned it out to propose to his girlfriend at a wrestling tournament. That fell through, so he proposed while -- wait for it -- she was sitting on the toilet. True story.

Who said romance was dead?

Whoops, get a load of us. We're completely off-topic and this pathetic loser needs all the advice and confidence he can get. You know how it is, a NEW phase of life. A NEW step towards eternal progression. Like Tom Gibb's many STD's, it seems huge. Naturally Stevo is a little nervous about this change in his facebook status. If anybody has ANY words of 'advice' or words of 'encouragement' or even words of 'sympathy' please WRITE STEVO A MESSAGE. Either on his wall, or over a facebook message. Wait, his facebook got hacked... hmm, well write it on my wall and I will relay the message.

Love,
Ryan